The things that I thought about lately

Tonight was fun.

I went out with Q the last minute because I needed to send a package to my tito in Manila. Afterwards, we went around the mall just to check things out. Oh, but he did have to buy something at the hardware store and I, at the Japanese shop. Other than that, it was a nice night talking about our plans and goals over ice cream. I loved listening to Q talk about his creative ideas and sifting through them.

We also laughed a lot over many stupid things, mostly things that he says, or new things that he reveals that are just hilarious to me.

He’s such a weirdo. He’s my weirdo.

On an entirely different note… lately, I’ve just been pondering over the many things that I want and like to do. I find myself exploring more and trying things out, see if I like something enough to commit to it, or if it is just one of those things that I want to try out, and be done with it, satisfied enough with just the mere fact of trying it. Nothing wrong with that, right? I’m just continuously learning many things that suit my fancy or not, and just move along, or go back again to another thing that I also like.

It’s been like that for a few weeks now after I dropped all my projects. I like it. It allows me to have a free rein with what my soul craves every now and then.

The longing for words and worlds, I satisfy with reading, the longing for creating, I satisfy with various arts and crafts that I can get my hands on, may it be calligraphy, journaling, or origami; the longing to get out and move, I satisfy with a quick drive out with Q, the longing to write, I satisfy with a quick entry here, or this other secret blog that I have just created. Anything goes, really. For now, anyway.

This season is also all about waiting for me. Patiently waiting, if I may add.

I’ve also been reflecting over the many things that happened on the last part of 2017 and for the first part of the year, of how I wished I could scratch it all out, like how I scratched and tore the first 6 months of my Passion Planner. It wasn’t that bad, there were good things, a lot actually, and to some, successful endeavors, even. But, not to me. I can’t fully express why I feel that way, but it’s just all useless.

It’s not because it doesn’t mean anything to me, but because I know how temporal things are, that the things that make us feel secure now, our money, our job, our possessions, our relationships, our goals, and plans, etc, they are all fleeting, and in one way or another, it will never be enough, nothing will ever be enough for us.

Because of this, it made me look for meaning in anything that I do, for something that will truly add meaning to my life, and at the same time, I can live it out, and pay it forward.

And I have found it. Rather, I’d like to believe God lead me to it, again.

And like I said, it’s all in the waiting now. I have a bad habit of forcing things into my own hands.

Patience has never been my strongest suit, but I am pretty patient with people though, but patience with myself, not really.

So now, I wait. Patiently.

PS.
I got engaged to Q, my best friend and forever love, about 2 weeks ago. 🙂
I’ll write about that some other time. <3

Leave a Reply